{blah}

Despite the fact that I pick up my new Beetle convertible in less than three hours, I'm feeling blah today. Yucky. I've been trying so hard lately to stay positive and "up" and, frankly, I'm sick of it. I really just want to sink into the depths of introspection and wallow in whatever emotions I find there.

The last five months have been some of the toughest I've experienced in a long while. Dealth, loss, illness, work stress, friend strees, boy troubles. It's been a tough row to hoe. But, at the same time, I've been having the time of my life hanging out with my crazy crew of friends. I've grown closer to those who were merely "acquaintances" six months ago. My parents have been absolutely wonderful in helping me deal with all my emotional crises. Despite the challenges, I know I am infinitely blessed.

One struggle that continues is my weight. I've gained back 20 of the 70 pounds I lost and I feel it. Some of my cute "skinny" clothes don't fit. My jeans don't, either. I am out-of-shape. I'm very disappointed in myself. I've been so busy either hanging out or being sick I've not had time to work out. I need to change that. To rededicate myself to a health lifestyle. For me. For my own piece of mind and comfort.

Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.