{the story of a girl}

Monday, March 05, 2007

{letting go}

Remember that old adage that we can't control someone else's behavior but we can control our reactions? Well, I had an opportunity to put that thought into action this past weekend. And failed miserably.

I was at a large church meeting when an older woman behind me leaned over to one of her friends and began to talk about me in a very loud voice. The jist of it was I was scratching the back of the person next to me and the action was bothering this woman. Rather than tap me on the shoulder and quietly ask me to stop since I was distracting this woman, she continued to complain to her friend about me.

Needless to say, it took every ounce of self-control and propriety I had not to turn around and let this woman have a piece of my mind. We were, after all, in a CHURCH meeting, a very important one at that, and it would have been inappropriate for me to react the way I desperately wanted to. I continued to hold my tongue for the remainder of the meeting. But I couldn't concentrate on the speaker; that wonderful feeling that envelopes you in a highly spiritual situation had vanished and I was left to stew in my own righteous indignation.

Today, I'm still angry. I know, deep down, not saying anything was the proper thing to do. I can rationalize that I was taking the high ground and not stooping to this woman's level of behavior. But, the rebellious, "take-no-prisoners" side of me regrets not turning to this woman and saying, "Thank you for ruining this very important spiritual experience for me. I hope that, despite your un-Christ like behavior, you still learn a great deal from today's meeting."

And now, I need to let it go.


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