A thousand days

It's been a thousand days since LW passed away. A thousand days seems like a long time yet in so many ways it feels like just yesterday. I can recall the heartache so clearly at times that it makes me catch my breath. Not one of those thousand days has passed without me thinking about him. About his smile and his laugh. About the way he would come up behind me and put his arms around me in the mornings when I was making hot chocolate. About the way he would spontaneously pull me into an empty office at work and dance with me. About how he adored me and about how reluctant I was to get involved with someone so much younger whom I also worked with. About how I had meant to be with him the night he was in the accident but got wrapped up at work. About how I always told him to wear a helmet and that night he wasn't.

A million what-ifs and should-have-beens run through my mind. But, despite my doubts and longings, I've found peace with his passing. I've found peace in knowing that he has gone to a better place; that he is happier than he could have been here. I've found peace in the moments when I still feel him wrap his arms around me.