{the story of a girl}

Wednesday, June 03, 2009


Someday, I'm going to live in a small town and either be a librarian or own a bookstore/cafe/bakery and sometimes I even dream of being the proprietor of a small bed and breakfast. The small town varies between a wooded mountain retreat and a little haven on the coast in Oregon or Washington. On days when I feel truly independent and equal-to-the-task, I own my own place. Other days I want the flexibility of having others to cover for me and I'm a librarian.

But whatever occupation I choose, my daydreams are the same. I live in a wonderful little cottage with vintage appeal. I bake bread and cookies and treats for my neighbors. I have a funky sense of style- a mix of classic chic, country girl and surfer chick- that is all my own. I carry pockets full of root beer barrels for the neighborhood kids (I'm always single in my daydreams because, well, I am in real life). Instead of a purse I carry a tote bag brimming with books and treasures. And always, ALWAYS, my life is content and simple. Not perfect, but just right.

It's curious to compare this to the life I am living now. I don't live in a small town nor do I live in a cottage. The new condo/townhouse is in a cookie-cutter neighborhood. My personal style is whatever is clean in the mornings before work and I eat the root beer barrels before I can divvy them out. I do carry the tote bag, though, and it IS brimming with books.

I can look at the differences between my imagined life and my reality and choose to be disheartened. Or I can see the differences for what they are. I'm buying the condo because I want a home of my own and moving away isn't practical right now because I get free tuition and I still have 2 years until I get my undergrad. That doesn't mean in the inside of the condo cannot be whatever I wish it to be. And maybe, if I really stop and look at it, my personal style is a conglomeration of the elements listed above and I just don't see it. And I am content with my life, for the most part. It's mine and mine alone. But my daydreams give me something to strive for and, dare I say, an escape when reality is just a little too real. Because we all need an escape once in a while.


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