Mr. Sandman

What do you do when struck with insomnia at 1:00 a.m. on a Tuesday morning? Me? Apparently I sit in bed with a hardback book, my American Girl markers and sketch out a plan for the year ahead. After making a list (er, rather lists- plural) of all I want to accomplish (and need to accomplish in order to graduate with honors next spring), I realize that my 2011 word should probably be two words: hard work. Or elbow grease. Or dig in. Or maybe even yeah right. I certainly am ambitious at 1:00 a.m.; if only that ambition would carry over to the remaining 23 hours of my daily life.

Sundance Envy

This is certainly not the first time Sundance Catalog has made an appearance on my blog. You might recall me waxing philosophical (or just plain envious) about the Draper's Cabinet here. The rustic, artsy, vintage, unique element to their products sucks me in every time. Most of the items I fall madly, deeply in love with are entirely too far out of my price range to consider. But a girl can dream. And fantasize. And post pictures on her blog.

How lovely would this be to hold the room keys at my B&B. Which I don't own. Yet. So, in the meantime, maybe jewelry? Or spools of ribbon?

This end table will be prominently featured in an ocean-themed (sans seashells...cause seashells give me the heebie-jeebies) bedroom when I have a bigger home and/or open the aforementioned B&B.

Of course I'll need this to organize my produce. Or knitting supplies. Or whatever.

I love maps. I love globes. I love atlases. This one is already in my glove compartment.

Apparently this sweater is no longer available, but it was on my wish list. And now that it is sold out I can lament the fact that I never got to purchase it. Although I never would have (it was over $150) unless I had won the lottery.

Saint Squad

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I'm a fan of Traci Hunter Abramson's Saint Squad series. LDS fiction + action + Navy SEALs = good stuff. I go through phases of reading nothing but LDS fiction (action/mystery, not romance). I get tired of all the trash out there! Unfortunately, I read the stuff faster than the authors can write and I often find myself in limbo waiting for the next great book to come along.

But I digress. Check out the Saint Squad series. Entertaining stuff.

Etsy Love

I *heart* Etsy. It's the perfect marketplace for someone who enjoys one-of-a-kind or unique items, vintage treasures, and off-the-wall creations. Someone exactly like me.

Take, for instance, this 2011 calendar printed on library cards by Collette Paperie. Do you get where I am going with this? Me? Library cards? I'm thinking my next purchase from this shop will be the typewriter note cards. Love.

For Strange Women drew me in with wonderfully aesthetic photos and the packaging of the items. It's splendid. And I can't wait to taste, er, try this lip balm. The entire shop is very retro-glam and I dig it.

Do you Etsy?

five years.

Dear L,

Five years ago you left this world and my life has never been the same. I've finally come to terms with the guilt I felt and learned to let go of it knowing that I couldn't have changed what happened...sometimes fate has a will of her own.

When I think of you now- which is every day- I do so with affection and gratitude to have had you in my life, even if for so short a time. The details I recall are ripe with tenderness: the way your face would break into a grin when you saw me; the way you'd wrap your arms around me from behind as I was making hot chocolate in the morning; how you would pull me into your arms at random moments and dance with me. I still hear your voice calling me your best girl and telling me I was every man's dream. I remember how seeing you pull up on your bike would make my heartbeat quicken and how, later, just the thought of you would fill my stomach with butterflies.

The night I got the call...I still remember every detail about that night. Where I was, what I was wearing, who I was with. Erin saved my life that night...and in the months to follow. I don't know how her and Justin survived me practically living on their couch for weeks, but they did and I wouldn't have made it through without them. Losing you, L, softened me. I was vulnerable and shattered and needed people. 2006 began in a horrific way but it turned out to be one of the best of my life in a very odd, twisted kind of way. Losing you made me open up and let people in. I made wonderful new friends who have become like family to me. But I have never, never stopped loving you or missing you.

You are still in my dreams and each day brings a memory of you. I pray that never changes because you made me feel again, love again. And for that I can only be grateful.

You are in my heart. Always.

true

First, I must say how much this print captivates me. It's available from this Esty seller and I fully intend on purchasing it for my home.

Second, I've selected my word for 2011: true. I will be true to who I am, deep down at the core. I am not my friends, my family, my coworkers. They all have their own beliefs, values, likes, dislikes, etc., and I have mine. I may seek counsel from others but will always, always allow my heart and head to inform my actions. Above all else, I need to be the unique, authentic, quirky person I am and not allow others to dictate my course. In my heart of hearts, I know what I believe, what I value, what makes me happy, what I want most in life. To listen to, respect, and heed that little voice I hear in my head and my heart when I ponder my life is what I resolve to do in 2011.

To be true.