{one of those e-mail things}

1. What is your occupation? University Advancement/Philanthropy
2. What color is your underwear? Black w/hot pink and green hearts
3. What are you listening to right now? Godsmack
4. What was the last thing you ate? A piece of eclair ( I know, I know!)
5. Do you wish on stars? Absolutely
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple
7. How is the weather right now? Hot and slightly humid
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? A co-worker
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes
10. Favorite drink? Starbucks Strawberries N Creme Frappucino
11. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Parts of it, never all of it
13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Both, glasses more and more (and not happy about it)
14. Pets? No
15. Favorite month? Toss up between October and March
17. What was the last movie you watched? The Island
18. Favorite day of the year? I really can't say
19. What do you do to vent anger? Driving or kickboxing/exercising
20. What was your favorite toy as a child? I don't remember
21. Fall or Spring? Fall
22. Hugs or kisses? Kisses
23. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
27. Living arrangements? Apartment
28. When was the last time you cried? A couple of weeks ago
29. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and bags
30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Nikki
31. What did you do last night? Dinner, movies, general carrying-on
32. Favorite smell? Orange blossoms, rain and really good smelling guys
33. What inspires you? Reading (idea books, creativity books, etc), nature, being in love (corny, I know)
34. What are you afraid of? Clowns
35. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? CHEESE
36. Favorite car? Chevy Tahoe
37. Favorite Dog Breed? Black Lab
38. How many years at your current job? 2 months
39. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
41. How many states have you lived in? 2
42. How many cities have you lived in? 8

{regroup}

The theme of the this weekend is regroup. Regroup. Reorganize. Rededicate.

My life has been spinning slightly out of control. Not in the "Stop the world I want to get off" way, just in the "Um, can you add a couple of more hours to each day for me?" way. This weekend will be spent cleaning the apartment top to bottom (that should take all of an hour), doing laundry and ironing (bleck), organizing stacks of paperwork, shredding bills. I also have to sort through my CD collection and determine which CD's were in the Target bag I through away like an idiot. Maybe wash the car if another monsoon doesn't hit. Hum, need to wash the car anyway. :(

Grocery shopping is a must. Need to get back on track with the healthy eating and exercising. My body is beginning to feel the wear and tear of not working out. It's angry at me. Wants to kill me. It screams "STRETCH ME, STRETCH ME" every day. I try to shut it up with mini-chocolate bars but it's not working.

{ouch}

Late. Night. Ouch. Not 20 years old anymore. Body can't handle it. Went to dinner for friends birthday. Dinner turned into movie. Movie turned into hanging out. Hanging out turned into home at 12:30, sleep much later.

Mexican food. Again. Third time this week. Saw The Island. Finally. Pretty wicked.

On another "ouch" note, I received an e-mail from my editor at mormonchic.com. After a year on staff, they have decided to cut back the amount of staff writers from 10 or so to 3. Sad, but okay. Wasn't much work, anyway. Enjoyed the time spent with MC and the experience gained. Plus, it was kind of cool to see my name attached to published articles. Just the beginning of greater things, I hope.

I have no clue how I'm going to make it through the day on such little sleep. Needless to say it is a 'glasses day'. And a ponytail day. Wearing chunky black Mudd oxfords with black dress pants. He-he.

{confession}

I admit it, I've been a glutton these last few months. After a year and a half of working out and eating right, I've slipped right back into my "fat-girl" pattern. Fast food, simple cards, over-indulgence and sitting on by posterior. Today was a pretty sad wake-up call for me. I was running late for work and decided to just wear my "fat clothes" since there were the only ones ironed. Reality check. The fat clothes FIT, dang it. Not the fat, FAT clothes mind you, but fat clothes just the same.

What happened??!?! I KNOW how to lose weight the smart way. I know all the intricacies of diet and nutrition (okay, not ALL of them, but enought to have lost 70 pounds). So what the heck is my problem? What excuses do I use? Probably the same I do for everything else. But not anymore. As of this moment, I'm rededicating myself to eating right and exercising. To working off the rest of this horrendous ghetto booty.

So, tonight, I'm hitting Walmart for a body bar, the grocery store for healthy food and packing my gym bag for tomorrow night. Easier typed than done, huh?

{the list}

Just some cool things I've found while surfing the net.

* I saw one of these pieces in Ali Edwards' studio and found the link. I've ordered one for myself (Happy early Birthday to me!). Colored Pencil Art

* Yes, it's really a diaper bag, but it's so stinkin' cute. And I just love the line name, petunia pickle bottom .

* I LOVE office and school supplies. In recent years my obsession has expanded to include scrapbook supplies as well. See Jane Work has very cute, unique office accessories.

* My name is Lindsy and I'm a web quiz junkie. I love to take the quizzes just to see how close the results match my personality. Try this web site for fun ones: webtickle.

Pictures Past

While digging through my metal lock-box looking for my immunization records (why, oh why, do universities need proof of MMR?), I found several old photos that I just love.

I love the first one, my brother, my father and I. I don't remember the trip, but I remember my father looking like Grizzly Adams when I was younger.

Me on my father's back while he was fishing.

The Empty Seat

The following is a piece I entered into a writing contest. It was posted on my old blog and I'm republishing it here. Enjoy.

The Empty Seat

Sometimes, when the nights seem to last forever and the luminescent moon begins to crest over the desert foothills, I get in my car and drive. The destination is unknown; the only thought is escape. I quietly pull out of my driveway and head toward the Superstitions, their bulk rising in the blackened sky like a harbinger. The roof goes back, the windows go down, the hair goes up. It’s a ritual I’ve perfected and have come to long for on sleepless nights. Nights when the past is too close and peace of mind is unattainable.

I drive on through the desert, soaking the emptiness into my veins and allowing the loneliness to bathe every nerve in emotion. Becoming consumed with introspection, I fail to notice the deepening of the night and the gathering of clouds. I know only the thoughts churning about in my head. Thoughts for which there is no explanation and from which there is no refuge.

The past is always with me, a wraith in the shadows of my mind. When does a broken heart begin to heal? How long can the spirit live until the crushing weight of love lost shatters it? I don’t have the answers, only the questions and the pain. The first drops of rain fall from the sky and mingle with the tears coursing down my cheeks, each undistinguishable from the other. I long for nothing more than to be absorbed by the desert, to feel the release of sorrow and anguish as I meld into the parched soil.

Eight years have passed since I lost him. Eight years for the pain to sear every fiber of my being and consume all my thoughts. I can’t let go. I’m not sure I want to. There is a sweetness in the ache I feel inside when memories of him boil to the surface and cause me to catch my breath. When I close my eyes, his face floods my mind and memories of his touch linger upon my skin. It’s not enough to simply remember; I want to relive every moment we spent together.

Driving through the tangle of cacti and tumbleweeds with the moon glowing in the black sky and rain gently falling like the tears of God, it’s easy to imagine him sitting next to me. He reaches out and turns the radio station, searching for a song he likes. He looks at me with a twinkle in his eye knowing how I hate it when he channel-surfs. He reaches over and pulls my hand from the steering wheel, taking it into his own and caressing it. I turn and smile at the empty seat beside me, seeing his lips form a grin in response. No words are said, it is simply enough to feel him with me.

Memories pass wordlessly between us, thoughts and feelings woven into the fabric of time. Every second we spent together is written upon the pages of my life creating a book that I want to read forever. A story that encompasses when my existence began and when it ended.

At moments like these, when the rain and wind is whipping through the car and lashing at my face, I can forgive him for leaving. My heart understands even when my mind can’t begin to comprehend. The reason why is never spoken, only embedded into my soul to be remembered on moonless nights and rain drenched mornings. To be recalled in those moments when the will to go on has evaporated and the ache has lost its sweetness.

A stray bolt of lightning illuminates the road ahead and I recognize the path that brought me here. As the first city lights twinkle into view and the rain slows to a drizzle, the image beside me begins to shimmer and I know he is leaving again. The overwhelming pain rushes in and crushes my lungs, leaving me breathless. I struggle to keep the car on the road despite the ocean of tears in my eyes and the sorrow that threatens to tear me apart. The only comfort I find is in knowing he will be there again tomorrow night, in the empty seat beside me.

Good Mail Days...

There's nothing like them. Last night (after stopping off at the LSS on my way home), I received a plethora of fun stuff.

* A skirt I'd ordered off of e-bay (brand new lavendar J. Jill with tags still on)
* Knee-length (thank goodness) kakhi cargo shorts from Victoria's Secret that I ordered 3 months ago and forgot about
* My Amazon order
* A $3.50 Ulta coupon

I love good mail days.

Random Thoughts

1) While in Wyoming, I discovered the new home my parents bought was orginally built for and lived in by Glenn Exum who founded Exum Mountain Guides. Very cool. I'm already planning to attend their basic mountaineering school next summer.

2) I am NEVER eating Taco Bell (aka Toxic Hell) again. I lost 5 pounds this weekend after a late-night indulgence. I'm still queezy, dang it.

3) I confess, I'm a research junkie. I recently found an on-line encyclopedia that I'm addicted to. Now I can read about anything and everything I want. How did we ever live without the internet?

4) A Flop at the White House- that's the name I would have given to an article about the Northwestern University women's lacrosse team wearing flip flops to the White House to meet the President. I don't think any less of the girls, but I DO wonder what has happened to tradition and sense of propriety in our society?

5) Hmmm...how can I earn $400 fast to attend this amazing workshop? Too bad I have moral objections to robbing banks and selling my body.

6) Erin and I are planning a trip to Newport Beach to tour the new temple before it is dedicated. It's the celebration of our 10 year friendiversary. Thanks for all the wonderful memories, Er. You've been the best friend I have ever had.